how life would have been had I married him... good or bad or downright ugly. I cant' seem to make up my mind, not that it makes any difference now - he is gone with the wind and I am still in square one and wondering what is it that's stopping me from moving on.
I had drawn a picture of a man I would fall in love with, in my mind and I perceived X as that guy. I squeezed him into the frame that I had set aside for 'the one' and refused to see that X did not quite fit into it. What was it that I fell in love with. What is it that I am still in love with. Did I turn him into a super hero in my mind or is it just loneliness. Is it him or could it be anyone else. Am I lost because he is gone or that there is no one else.... I wonder!!
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